Guardian of Secrets | Guardian of the Secrets

Eye of God
Out of the Eye of God
They come into Being
Sparks
Spinning
Falling to the Ground

As Two they Land
Naked

Feet felt against new earth
Lungs filled with sweet air
sweet water
Trees to feed them and shelter them

And it was good

With awe and innocence
They look into each others eyes
and find themselves
Sacred in the Garden

They dance
spiralling
Hearts open to the warmth
Circling the center
a crimson pole
alive pulsing
A fulcrum
pulling them closer in their surrender

They reach out and touch
unsullied skin
silken territory
never before explored

A New Order

Men
Marching
Men
in rows
Marching
As One
All blond
Men
They were young
Men

Crisp Uniform
Crisp Step
Arm held high
in salute

Stepping
Black boots
As one
Stamping
Out Chaos
Proclaiming
a New Order

His words
Ringing
In their
Ears
Filling their hearts with pride
Pushing them
to triumph
Over Evil
Over Demon Men

Men
Marching
Men
As One

They sang
of the homeland
and honor
They sang
of the homeland
and honor

He stood blessing them on their crusade
black robe
white cassock
Sprinkling them with Holy Water
“These children have been cleansed of sin
brought into the Hand of God
and will clear the earth
of the impure
and unworthy”

A Goddess

She comes to me as smoke
in essence a goddess
scented with Chanel

Emerging
Elegant
a simple string of pearls

She stands
before the mirror
readying herself
for the evening

And I am warmed by her presence

Free

They were free
laughing
playing in the field
Free

They were free
spinning
dancing
Free

Children
Girls and Boys
Voices
Filled with Joy

Free

Arms held high
Way up to the sky

Free

Playing in the field

Free

Warm in their hearts
Clear in their eyes
Innocent Touch
Free

Free

Chaos

Bless me Father for I have sinned

And he said

“Of course you know
Chaos exists
in the Universe
and the streets of San Francisco”

Guise

They were all guise
assembled on the field
They leaned into each other
with measure
Guarding
against being entered
Defeated
Initiating each other
into the cult of man

The boy stood on the field
not understanding
unprepared
Helpless against their advances
pushed aside
as they entered his zone
Stealing
something unknown
To him

Fallen
He lay on the grass
The young jock
All-American
approached
The boy confused
a conflict of emotions
choking his throat

The jock
ruddy
strong
A vapor emanating
an aura musty red
man boy scent
pungent
sweet

He stood
towering above the boy
gym shorts tenting
panting with animal eyes
Pulling a knife from his sock
he reaches down
carves into the prone figure
striping the chest red

The boy is lifted by his legs
flipped over
facing the ground
In his head
he repeats endlessly
“I am dead. I am dead. I am dead. ………..”

He shatters into a thousand pieces
and is scattered by the wind

Red Sharp
He rains down red
sharp
tearing through the sky
He shines
I’m telling you
He shines

He sings the dark song
He weaves the dream web
He enters me at night
Through window
Through flying curtains

He rains down red
sharp
tearing through the sky
He shines
I’m telling you
He shines

Forked tongue
Flaming eyes
Winged heels
Red palm held forward
reaching out for me

He rains down red
sharp
tearing through the sky
He shines
I’m telling you
He shines

He consumes me
or casts me aside
He carries me rolling
Through league
and canyon

And beyond fear
I want it
The flicking tongue
I want it
The quickened breath

The dark flow like night
closing in on me
washing me to nothing

He rains down red
sharp
tearing through the sky

Long Needles
The older man is nude
The young boy
13 or so
is also nude
The boy is laying on his belly
The man is kneeling
straddling the boy
slowly inserting
long needles
into the boys back

He screams in pain
“Take it out. Take it out. Take the long one out.”

I am told to leave by the door behind me
I enter a dark patio
am given a large wood bowl
and told
If I want to join in
I must eat the contents of the bowl

It is filled with brown mush
feces

Barren
Frozen
Barren
She sits
solid
as a statue

Enthroned
Elevated

She glares down
a harsh judge
a mute witness to my pain

I skate across her hard surface
seeking some warmth
some comfort

I lay at her feet
and wonder
what I have done
to be banished
from her love

Hungry Eyes

They are after me
I am running
through the field
through the forest

They are after me
All men
dressed in black

Black caps
Black guns
Black boots
that shine in the sun
And I don’t know
what I have done

They are after me
I am scared
Running
Through the forest
Down a long dirt road
Trying to escape
I climb a gate

I am all alone

Running
Through the field
Running
Through the forest

Running

All Alone

Nobody to love

The Agony in the Garden

The Scourging at the Pillar

The Crowning with Thorns

The Carrying of the Cross

The Crucifixion

I am after him
And I want him
And I follow him
He is All-American

And he’s walking
Down a long grey hall
And he’s wearing
Only a towel small

And I want him
And I follow him

And he struts
past doors
and more doors
That open
to small rooms
with beds
and men

Waiting
Wanting
Watching him pass
with animal eyes
with hungry eyes

And I want him
And I follow him
He is All-American

And he has a butt
I could worship

They were after me
And I wanted him

They were after me
Dressed in black
And I was running
Through the field
Down the halls

And they were all men
with hungry eyes
angry eyes

And I was running

Running

I am a hungry dog
sniffing and licking
sniffing and licking

Help Me

Help me
Help me
Help me
I think
I am falling
Help me
I think
I am falling
Help me
Help me
Help me
I think
I am falling
In love again

Accused
(When I first heard Isaac Hayes sing this song I started to cry.
It is written by Butler and Butler.
I changed she to he and added the last two lines.)

I stand accused
of loving you too much
And I hope it is not a crime

Because if it is
I am guilty
of loving you
Oh yeah

I hope to God
That I never have to testify
Because if I do
everyone they gonna cry
Guilty
of loving a sweet boy like you

I just can’t
I can’t help myself
I’m a victim
of circumstance
Just one touch of your hand
I don’t know how it happened
But just look at me
I’m trembling on the witness stand
And I’m shouting out
All over
All over the land

I’m guilty of loving you
I say I’m guilty

But what can I do

Don’t Ask
Don’t Tell

Landing

He’s landing
Hair and Hands
Filled with flames
Blazing eyes
A river of wax
Flowing down his back
Feathers
Scattered at his feet

He had flown up
Enraged
To face God

His wings
ripping through the air
His fathers cries
falling far below him

He flies with a fury
unkown to man
Facing the blinding Light

He reaches up
and tears away
the veil of the Guardian of the Secrets
And shows himself
Full before God

He’s landing
Hair and Hands
Filled with Flames

Gladiator

Bowed before him
Towering
Impenatrable
Gladiator
Thigh strong
steps outs and crushes
grinding with heel to dust

But I still feel
the scream held tight
the fear tensed tight
cords between jaw and shoulders

To be seen is a scorching Sun
Too bright for an ordinary man
A chamber lined with a high pitched steady note
and chants
more rants of “Fag”

I love you I honor you I worship you
I place myself on the sacrificial bed
and surrender to you fully
I do not exist
You are this touch

He took the dirt at His feet
Spit into it
molding a body in strong hands
He brings His mouth to lips not fully formed
dark specs of earth and twig
and with warmth and tenderness
breathes his breath
steps fully into him
and faces the world

A warm full Autumn day

He is Life

In the darkness
our bodies unfold
revealing secrets
telling stories
Fuming
sulfur heat
and animal lust
That smells
warm
and earthy
Sweat
like only
a man can sweat

Tongues
Probing
Tasting the dew
in pit and crevice
Sliding down
pulsing shaft
glowing red
The sacrament enters
filling my throat
A hazy snake
lazy in its descent

My heart
a flower opens
Nectar meets
fluid Love
Slithering
Dancing
Melding

Oh God
Open your heart
Open your soul
Open your body
He is Life

He enters
Slowly
Tenderly
Testing me
As I surrender
to anything
The world has to offer
Carrying me
across the threshold of fear
Into the realm of trust
Surrendering to Him

The Snake

She is born of the earth
and is the bearer of the snake
She emerges from the forest
carrying the serpeant
coiling in her hands

She stands
in offering
I touch her hands
in thanks
The snake weaves its way up my left arm
wraps my waist three times
and perches on my right shoulder
Having returned
to its rightful owner

Her duty done
in a cloud of rainbows
and blazing glory
She ascends
and is crowned by the Sun

My Own Man

I am my own man
I sing my own song
I draw my circle
and seal my fates

I have been cursed and hated
loathed berated
But all I really want
Is to live my life in peace

I am my own man
I sing my own song
I draw my circle
and seal my fates

I’ve been told
that I could never do it right
Breath Exist Live my life

But I’ve eaten my shame
I have danced with the dark
There is a soire in my soul
and God and the Devil
are doing a lovely waltz

And I wonder
“Whose heart is this beating,
the earth’s or my very own?”